Happy Pride Month, day 27, flexible
Jun. 27th, 2024 07:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sonia27. I'm proud of being a flexible friend.
This past weekend, a friend and I planned to go to a solstice event, but it was sold out, so we planned to go for a walk, but then she asked for a raincheck because of logistics when a close friend of the family died recently. Of course, I'll catch her later!
Saturday I had plans with a friend to go for a bike ride, and he called to say he had slept badly and could go several hours later, or would need to cancel. I didn't have other plans, so we had a nice ride starting later in the afternoon.
Sunday I had plans for a walk with another friend, but she texted to cancel not long before because it was her husband's birthday and he decided he wanted to go for a hike instead of out to dinner. I texted back 'ok' and left it at that. That one was painful, being reminded that I don't rate in comparison to family, but there's no point in fighting about it.
In general, I try to make room for people to live their lives and have crises and change their minds or be too tired, and enjoy when I do get to see them. I also try not to flake on people, but I appreciate being given flexibility in return when I need it. I'm sure I've benefitted from people's spaciousness when I didn't even realize I needed it.
This past weekend, a friend and I planned to go to a solstice event, but it was sold out, so we planned to go for a walk, but then she asked for a raincheck because of logistics when a close friend of the family died recently. Of course, I'll catch her later!
Saturday I had plans with a friend to go for a bike ride, and he called to say he had slept badly and could go several hours later, or would need to cancel. I didn't have other plans, so we had a nice ride starting later in the afternoon.
Sunday I had plans for a walk with another friend, but she texted to cancel not long before because it was her husband's birthday and he decided he wanted to go for a hike instead of out to dinner. I texted back 'ok' and left it at that. That one was painful, being reminded that I don't rate in comparison to family, but there's no point in fighting about it.
In general, I try to make room for people to live their lives and have crises and change their minds or be too tired, and enjoy when I do get to see them. I also try not to flake on people, but I appreciate being given flexibility in return when I need it. I'm sure I've benefitted from people's spaciousness when I didn't even realize I needed it.
Oh this is a tender subject
Date: 2024-06-30 08:31 pm (UTC)There are some people with whom I have reciprocal access intimacy, and any of us can cancel at the last minute no problem. We understand and respect that we're managing limited energy--that sometimes I can't tell until five minutes beforehand that I won't be able to accomplish $WhateverThingIsOnOffer.
But then there are other folks who flake and I feel terrible.
Hmmm.
Re: Oh this is a tender subject
Date: 2024-07-01 05:05 am (UTC)Makes sense that it's tender subject. Do you have a sense of the difference for you? For me, there's a big difference between hearing some version of, "I'd love to, but I can't (for whatever reason)" or "I got a better offer." And whether the person seems to care about how it feels receive their cancellation, or if I'm being erased.